Looking at my life moving through pop culture, I can’t help but notice strong influences of my family. My family shaped me and influenced me in more ways than I could possibly express, but focusing on the idea of how they’ve influenced my view of pop culture, I can say that each member of my immediate family has had a very strong point of view that has colored my own.
My father was a military man. He was a hard-working young man who worked his way up to being an officer by willing to do more and learn more. My respect for my father and everything he’s done for the family is inexpressible. His influence on my view of art, storytelling and pop culture are a bit ironic because we are such different people. We get along well because we recognize we have such tremendous common ground, and of course we love one another very much.
But where I am a moody, volatile, melodramatic artist type, my father is a very grounded, hard-working and steady individual. He will see a film for the enjoyment and later not remember much about the plot because it’s no longer terribly important. To me on the other hand, every plot must be remembered because it represents something I can learn from. It represents the imaginary world of amazing relationships – presented well or not – that I can learn from is a writer. Even so, sharing some of my favorite films with my father has been a wonderful experience. The most recent example, the new Star Trek film, gave us an opportunity to talk about possible futures as well as different ideas of heroism and how the presented and pop culture. My father, who often feels he doesn’t connect with his beloved children enough (and what father who loves his children doesn’t feel that way?) took the opportunity with great gusto, and participated in the conversation with a smile on his face much of the time.
My father always had to work hard, so I didn’t get to see him as much as I did my mother. But I will always remember with great affection one particular birthday at around nine years old when my father was unable to attend because he was stationed in another city. His assignment was relatively short, so rather than uproot the entire family as he often had to do every three years, he chose to go off and do the work on his own so my brother and I could stay in school and in our community. My father regularly made these kind of sacrifices for the good of the family. I remember very little of the birthday party that I had. I remember some my friends who around, but I don’t remember what I got for my birthday. All I remember is seeing my father looking young and strong walking to the front door of our home and thinking that that was the greatest gift I could get for my birthday. At one particular moment in my life is one of the sweetest memories that I carry with me everyday of my life. So though my father was not an artist, and have very different temperament and outlook from me; his hard work, his trustworthiness, his solidity and his values all made my life and my explorations into popular culture possible. I would not be who I am if it were not for my father. If I have any talent at all, a great deal of the credit must go to the opportunities my father provided me, and the love he showed me many times over.
My mother was a bit of a contrast. She also served in the military, and became a registered nurse. But her temperament and outlook were closer to mine. Her influence over me began early. I’ve written about how she read Tolkien to me and my brother as bedtime stories. Her love of the fantastic opened up the window of my inner eye by forcing me to create pictures to the words she poured into me. My love of words would lead me to write, but also to read and to be read to a by modern audio books, and also to a love of old time radio shows that presented their stories for the listener to illustrate with their own imagination.
My mother’s constant reading led me to begin reading science fiction and eventually fantasy novels. My mother, like my father, loves movies. And I must say here that both my mother and my father took me to see films. My passion for popular culture was fed a great deal by my mother’s willingness to listen to my latest interests – whether they be Star Wars, Star Trek or any number of other things that she may not really have been interested in, but which she gave loving attention to for the sake of her son.
My only sibling, my brother, also had a large influence on me. Being three years my senior I was often in awe of my older brothers taste in popular culture. This is specially filtered through the wall we shared between our two bedrooms as I would hear many of the records playing on the stereo he inherited when dad realized that his son was beginning to have more records than his father did. In the 1970s popular rock bands like Van Halen, Yes, Kansas, America and Rush were just a few of the bits and pieces that I would hear flowing through the wall. And to say the least many of these songs and groups became almost a subliminal influence on my musical taste throughout the years.
Also my brother and I socialized sometimes. Sometimes we would speak about a common interest in a comic book or game. My brother had a very insightful mind. He would grow up to be a successful engineer, and start his own family. But before that I knew him as someone who’s sharp mind and creative spirit seemed to mix together many of the best things of both my father and my mother. He was able to appreciate pop culture in much the same way that I was, but was perhaps more practical than me in many ways. My brother served in the Navy for four years, and was even in the first Gulf War. I’m thankful for his service, and that he is alive and happy today. I was fortunate enough to visit him on the naval ship on which he was stationed when the Navy had an open family day. I was able to see the very impressive workings of one of the Navy’s most powerful sea going vessels, and am impressed to this day by the work my brother does.
All of this is really just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my family. Their influence on me cannot be expressed in a single essay. My “Family of Influence” stretches far beyond my immediate family. My brothers own family – including his wife and his two children (my niece and nephew) – has had and will continue to have a strong influence over the way that I look at my life, and the way that I view and write about pop culture. More than that, my extended family has shown tremendous patience and love for a sometimes misunderstood, artistic and moody Me. And for that I’m eternally grateful.
I hope that this essay in some small way repays some of that patience and love, and shows that it is reciprocated. We are all influenced by people around us with their family or friends, coworkers or loved ones. If we are lucky we live in a world that is full of love, full of opportunities, full of all the good things life has to offer. Many times I think how fortunate I’ve been to live in a country, and a part of the world that has so much. And I try to be a citizen worthy of all the gifts that I’ve been given. If I can make a small contribution to popular culture through my words, through my relationships, my passions – and perhaps I can sleep at night knowing that I’ve made a contribution.
But the ingredients that went into the making of that contribution, and really the making of me, began at the root of the tree – with the family.
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